I'm still here!!

Hi everyone! Sorry about the absence. I have been so swamped with holiday stuff and didn't give myself the luxury of checking in here or anyone else's blog. We had a great Hannukah and Christmas; stress-free for the most part. I didn't get all of my holiday activities in but that's the way it is. I am learning not to stress over things I can't do.

I had gained a few pounds and then went back down to 142.2 so I was happy. However that was about 5 days ago so who knows! I have been "pretty good" but not eating P3 that's for sure. I have had my share of cookies etc..... but nothing like I've done before. Tomorrow I will weigh in and get the reality check I guess. I am going to do another round in Jan or Feb. and hopefully lose 10 more pounds for good. This time I will really prepare for it by making meals ahead etc..... I still haven't researched the P3 recipes either in any depth. That hasn't been good for me because quick and easy foods tend to be carbs!! I don't even want them but they are there. I haven't had much of an appetite but that doesn't mean I've not been eating. I get hungry but not for anything in particular. Its a bit strange and kind of frustrating but I think its because I did not prepare for this appropriately.

Exercising is going to be a challenge this 2 weeks off because I rely on the scheduled bootcamp to keep me in line! I will just have to stay motivated and do it on my own. If I don't exercise I will start to pack it back on and I DO NOT want to do that. I am too happy about losing even this "little bit" of weight.

Off to go to lunch with a friend. I'll be back to check in with everyone else.

Brooke

TGIF!

Whew, I weighed yesterday and all was well. I was 140.9! Lowest ever! I somehow knew not to weigh on Wed. as TOM was on its way out and I felt "big". Today I am 1/2 lb. over that so no big deal. I AM finding that the 2 pound spread is going to be a hard one for me to take. I don't want to gain ANY of it back! I am glad it is Friday ass DD has the weekend off of course, DH is home this evening and I have some nice plans for the weekend.

Last night DD had a band concert and I took the two younger ones by myself as DH is out of town. I didn't see very many people but I did get a few compliments on how I look! That was nice! I will say when I am thinner, my face looks prettier and it takes less effort to get that way. I feel so different when I feel like I look good you know? I have mixed feelings about that b/c I am still the same person inside whether I weigh 15 pounds more or not.

But one thing that is nice is how strong I feel. I am so glad I am doing my boot camp and I am in shape. For me, it is so important that I stay strong and aware of my body. Its hard to explain but its an inner-strength thing for me as well. In the past two years I have had some very ugly family issues I've had to deal with (some of them my fault) which have resulted in permanent (yeah!) estrangements etc.... My self-esteem has always been wobbly when it comes to my family; I could be easily manipulated just to please people. So when I feel strong physically it seems to make me feel strong otherwise as well. I think that is why I am so tickled that I feel this diet worked for me even though I worked out and ate over the calorie limit. I feel I got the best of both worlds.

After the concert it is our family tradition that we go to a local diner to get one of those HUGE peices of chocolate cake. We got two pieces b/c the little ones wanted a piece too. When we got home they were watching a Christmas show and I was cleaning the kitchen. I was picking off of one of the pieces of cake (who ME?) and I had 2 thoughts; I might as well eat more as I've already "started" and "ruined things" then another thought "but what would I eat"? I don't want any more cake and nothing else appeals to me. Woooooooooooo......... weird......... My sweet tooth has truly changed. The cake really tasted different in a way. Just not as good or worth it.

I also realize I can develop that sweet tooth right back to where it was if I so desire so I want to be really careful. That and my habit of eating everything that is just lying there! It drives me crazy. But then this is what all of this is for ! Wouldn't it be funny if this were really a "placebo" diet that just made us take a break so we could be aware of our bad habits?!!

Well I'm off to online Christmas shop and try to clean my nasty house. I love being busy this time of year but not when I come home to dirty clutter!

Hugs,

Brooke
141.4
LIW 141.3

Will the scale be my friend?

Hmmmm..... I'm back to the scale as the friend or foe thing. I looked at it this morning and stuck my tongue out at it. I've always sworn I would never be a slave to the scale again. I have mixed feelings about it. If I had paid attention I would have seen that I was gaining 25 pounds. But I knew I was gaining weight; just not how much. I just don't want to let the scale to start ruining my day etc.... but if I am following protocol everything should go well right?? I felt very bloated and fat this morning so I just didn't weigh myself. Basically I'm scared.

Today I had a small protein shake for breakfast, peanut butter and sugar-free Nutella spread after I worked out. Brussel sprouts and lo-carb mashed potatoes for lunch and asparagus and salmon for dinner. I also have had 2 lo-carb brownies for snacks and coffee w/ lo-cal chocolate soy milk all day. The brownies aren't very good as they taste very "fake sweet" which is interesting as they got a great review. On the other hand I got sugar-free white chocolate that is totally yummy. Amazingly the mashed potatoes are pretty good too. I was surprised. I also got flour for baking and made egg-nog muffins which turned out pretty good if I do say so. They aren't the "real" thing but they are ok for me! Can we detect a sweet tooth here? BTW, everything I ordered was from Netrition; I wanted to be prepared so I wouldn't go bonkers with my sweet tooth and I'm glad I have some things around!

One thing that is VERY noticeable is how full I get and how little of the sweets are needed to satisfy me. Very little goes a long way and that is enough for me. I see a HUGE difference in that way for me. I am eating about 1 1/2 teaspoons of the Nutella and a serving is 2 T.s I don't need that much so I'm not eating that much. I have caught my hand wandering towards the sugar-free chocolate or hard candy and I don't even want it so I'm telling my self to STOP. I have got to get myself out of the habit of mindless nibbling. Also, tonight I made corn and buttered pasta for the kids in addition to the salmon and asparagus. I was cleaning the kids dishes and was about to pop some pasta in my mouth. That is my other bad habit; eating another 1/2 meal off of someone else's plate or as I make dinner. Big no-no.

So, even though I was admittedly hungry on P2 (sometimes VERY) and it was difficult for me and I cheated; I can see a real difference in my hunger now. VERY interesting. I can't even imagine eating a "full" meal of any sort nor do I seem to have any driving cravings. However, I have eaten the lo-cal sweets to take care of that.

I will weigh tomorrow and will hopefully make it the rest of the evening with only a glass of sugar-free chai tea with milk! It is really good too! Nice and spicy/sweet.

Take Care!

Brooke

Back from Vacation!

Well I made it through the long weekend! It was a really fun time and seemed like we were gone for longer than we were. Gatlinburg and Dollywood are very "country" tourist-y paces but lots of fun if you can get past some of the hokiness. The people that work at Dollywood are so nice and genuinly glad to see you and help you. It was very Christmas-y and festive and we really enjoyed getting away. We had a 2 bedroom condo so there was plenty of room for all of us which was nice plus a full kitchen.

I weighed this morning and was up 1.5 from my LIW. It REALLY bothers me but I am going to try not to let it too much. I found it impossible to eat there in Dollywood b/c everything was so high in sugar and carbs. Funnel cakes, fried stuff, karmelkorn, chicken fingers etc..... I ended up eating my melba toast w/ peanut butter, apples, the inside of a Philly cheesesteak, a salad w/ fried chicken on top etc.... One thing I found that colored my habits was the cost. I hate throwing food away and that was hard to do. i.e the whole bun from the sandwich etc.... Also, I am having to really switch my way of thinking from a "low-cal" or little portions, to the P3 protocol. I still was thinking I could have litlle bites of fudge, popcorn, french fries etc..... and just walk it off. Thus the weight gasin I guess. Also got my TOM so maybe that will help level things off tomorrow after that goes away. I am off to research furiously what you other ladies ate on this section as I am finding it hard! I am already sick of peanut butter but I know there are lots of choices!

Thanks for all of the visits!

Cheers!

Brooke
+1.5 since LIW
142.8

P3 in Tennessee

Good Friday Morning all! We are taking a 3 day mini-vacation to de-stress and get away. I am lounging in my condo bedroom in Gatlinburg TN. My kids are watching Scooby-Doo (they never get to watch cartoons so its verrrrry quiet) and DH is still snoring next to me! Life is good.

Thanks for all of the replies about P3 yesterday. Biz, esp. the specs about the carbs etc..... I really needed some sort of basic # to go by and then I can plan accordingly. Y'all are sweet to contribute. I see these blogs as an incredible resource for people who are doing this now and in the future.

I was thinking about this whole hcg thing and looking at my e-mails and how I started all of this just at the end of October! It is funny how I "get into" these things and I become obsessed (dedicated). It all started from a post from Lili on another board where she was brave enough to talk about her weight loss. She got some very doubtful replies and some positive ones as well but I admire her for going out on that limb. I have told NO ONE that I am ordering prescription hcg from India w/out a script, needles and syringes, injecting myself and then eating 500 calories a day! I wonder why? : ) This all worked out like a dream. I went ahead and added the hcg to an existing order from India and it made it in. I ordered my needles and syringes from Researchsupply.net at a much lower cost even though it got poor reviews on the "other" yahoo site. ( I wonder about that now too) and the package came immediately. I got my period as expected and there I was! It was like one week I was desperately searching for the magic appetite suppresant and then I had an actual solution. There is a HUGE difference. I know I dove right in without completely inderstanding (I thought I did then) but what a cool thing; I can do this again after a P4!! Its all up to me! I can actually be slim again and quit spending my time lamenting how "hard" it is to lose weight etc......

I did get my shipment in from netrition and I almost went throught the roof with a happy dance. I have to calculate my #s as far as what I can eat etc.... but it is nice to have some options if I get cravings. I got some incredible no-cal syrups like egg-nog and chai tea. Some white chocolate bars, brownie mix, and some different flours to make some muffins. Also a very cool granular sugar for cooking that doesn't give you tummy issues. I am not a binge eater but I do get the "oh well, I ruined it already" attitude so I want to have a bit of a treat and be able to move on. I think it is all a part of the retraining and lifestyle! I tasted the things I got and I can be very satisfied with them. Nice thing about netrition's site is you get customer reviews and that was a great way to make decisions. I also got a sample bag with a lot of varieties of hi-protein, very low carb shake samples. Had one this AM and it was pretty good! I can't say enough about that place.

And yes, I know all of this in MAJOR moderation. And yes, I know I am supposed to be on my last VLCD. I did my last shot on Wed. but I was so ravenous I almost think my hcg was on its very last leg. I am staying pretty much on protocol but added the netrition tastes yesterday Also, about 5 french fries and a sip of an egg-nog milkshake in the car; sicky sweet and today I will have an extra protein in the form of the shake today. I'll be ok till dinertime tonight but I KNOW I can get a steak and plain salad someplace! I am not sick of anything I ate on VLCDs. I LOVED my spinach and chicken soup I made in the blender, the beef salad, eggs with tomatoes, ALL of it. MY absolute biggest problem is going to be not finishing what's on my kids plates, learning to throw food away or store it immediately and not eating bites of hi-cal food mindlessly. Tomorrow we are at Dollywood so I think I will bring some apples, melba toast, laughing cow cheese and a dollop of peanut butter. I need to stay away from the park food I am sure.

Well, off to bathe the kiddies and get on withtht e vacation. Thank you all for helping me through this round and for all of the continued help.

Brooke

Got the #s and am waiting for cheese.....

OK, I am back..... yesterday was an incredibly busy day for me but I got a TON done. I am actually very proud of myself. Lots of loose ends tied up etc.... My weight for my LIW is....... 141.3. So, a loss of 14.8 from the load days. (156.1) Not quite 15 lbs but hmmmmmmmm.... I'll take it!! I still have a bit of trouble with going from the load days but I also know my load weight wasn't much above my regular weight either. I am in awe of 2 things; that I've lost almost 15 pounds and also that I had gained so much!

I really hit a major wall Tues. and esp. yesterday. I think the bottom fell out of my hcg as I was ravenously hungry, head-achey as well as very fatigued when I was working out. It was definitly time for me to quit this round; physically and mentally. I was glad to do that last shot.

After all is said and done I am VERY, VERY happy with this diet. It has NOT been a miracle as it has been very hard for me and a true work in progress. I have had hunger and cravings consistently but I have decided I am chalking it up to the exercise. It has made me acutely aware of what I put in my mouth and how it tastes. I ate a small square of chocolate yesterday and it was so sweet I could hardly "taste" it and didn't really like it as much as I thought I would. Do you know what I mean? I have spent HOURS poring over Dr. Simeons Pounds and Inches, making sure I understand every word of it. I don't want to lose this weight and just keep losing it over and over every few months. I think I "get" what he was after and what we are doing with ourselves as far as re-setting our hypothalmus etc... Also, the whole bad carb/sugar/starch thing is more clear to me as well. After the Holidays and some P4 time, I am going to try to lose the last 10 or so (PLEASE no more than that) pounds I have to lose and then it will be a goal to maintain as I eat properly, exercise and live life!!

I am very curious how these next days will go. Today and tomorrow I have 2 more VLCD and then on to P3. I CAN'T WAIT to eat some cheese! I'll be traveling out of town tomorrow so I am afraid it will be more of a transition day but I'm not fooling myself. I know what to do. Thank you all for the great advice and resources. I think checking out everyone's blog is a good idea so I can just copy that for a few days. I won't be doing my boot camp for 4 days so I wonder what that will do. Hey, it will be nice to use the bathroom again if you know what I mean.......

If I can maintain the weight loss according to the protocol through P3 and a P4, I think I will make a short list of how I handled this diet this round, good and bad. Obviously I did not stay on track but I lost almost 15 lbs. I have learned some valuable life skills, knowledge about my own eating habits and a lot of knowledge about Dr. S's goals. I kept my exercise in (and even improved my scores), which was vitally important to me and that is INCREDIBLE when you think about how few calories we consume! I think a success has to be measured how it works for the individual and how it "sticks". What we learn and how we change is so important.

Ciao to everyone! I will check in on my next few days as we travel to Gatlinburg, TN, Dollywood and land o' fudge and every other bad food known on this planet!

Brooke
LIW 141.3 (woo hoo!)

Last shot today!!

Well, I did 30 days of shots total. I am hoping I will end up with a 15 lb. loss when all is said and done but that would mean a 1.5 lb loss for tomorrow am. I left the house w/out weighing as my DD had to be at school this am early. I had already eaten and worked out so I am skipping as I understand it is not good to deviate the weigh-in time etc....

I also understand that I shouldn't lose anymore weight during my 3 week P3 time. No problem there as the next 3 days of VLCD are going to be tough. I have been really hungry the past 18 hours and even got out of bed last night to eat some leftover chicken! I was starving! I am totally scrambling to wrap my head around the food I can have and cannot on P3. I would love to add some peanut butter and/or cheese but I am not sure how much fat I can have etc.... It seems some people go wild and others only add a bit to VLCD gradually. I did re-read the protocol but It seems vague to me and I don't want to take advantage. I imagine reading blogs, looking at the p3 recipes etc... will help me. Also, is the "atkins diet plus fruits" a true representation (to an extent)? I know there is a certain amount of protein, carbs, sugar that you can have on the VLCD diet. Is there such a list to follow for p3? I'm a bit panicked as we are going out of town for 3 days over the weekend but I will research tonight.

Can I say something rude? I went to the hcgdieters site and I have never read a bigger bunch of idiocy in my life. Is that place a joke? Are those people for real? It was downright scary....... Those people are handling needles? OMG! (shivers)

Wish me luck for my weigh-in tomorrow and for clarity for p3. I seem to have cobwebs there!

Hugs!

Brooke

p.s. got my earrings from Lise. Cute! Lovely! Beautiful! Just as pictured. What an artist!

p.s.s can anyone help me with my blog? I don't know how to add stuff?